GMH :(

The same scene plays everyday. Clocks alarm. I hear sniffles that signify sickness. The fan continues to oscillate. Then the unenthusiastic sleepyheads sit up and leave behind yesterday as if it were a used sanitary napkin.You are made to use it once and reusing it would be utterly repulsive. The same scheme remakes itself day after day after day. Going against this flow is, well, as the wise king said: "Like running after the wind"

I no longer feel that nervousness to a maximum. It feels so much more relaxing now. Too relaxing. Maybe I am being carried in the wing's arms? Though there is nothing to carry. My ambitions lay down flat. I am doubting them now. Then I went to the Ateneo art gallery and saw that Rizal only knew sparse Spanish in college. I have a chance to improve! Will this be in the course of my wind ways?

I need deep time. I have not even given myself the chance to be truly happy. Everything so far was for the sake of analysis or some empty sense of living. Now...GIVE ME HAPPINESS (HOPE) and JOY and all that shiz. I  just want to make this world....a better place---at least in the Ann parameter.

dundundunnnn

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME (haha)

When I arrived home, I swore that I would read History the whole day. I would not rely on the ppt notes. I would actually read the most boring history book in the world--word from word and attempt to remember every detail. The idea of being able to accomplish such a task is titillating and I arrive home with a well-formed goal in my mind. I become proud of myself then I open my laptop and end up Facebooking, 9gag-ing and C.H-ing. I check the clock and its almost sun down. So I decide to do the task at nighttime instead. It is nighttime and I feel more like reflecting.

I am angry at myself because my problems are so easily remedied. If I just began in a task right away, it would be finished just as swiftly and I can relax. But no, I never reach the state of being finished (at least in the magis way) because I never begin. I do accomplish the required tasks but I never finish what would make me feel better.

:(

I do not like to procrastinate. Actually I want to finish things. BUT NO....

Bye.

Why the hell am I sorting out everything and not reading for history?