Umagang Kay Ganda

"Where's the passion when you need it the most?" - Daniel Powter "Bad Day"

I have been having my loser spells. If there are such things as fainting spells, then there could be loser spells. These are the unlucky times wherein their occurrence could not be helped. Not waking up to an alarm clock. Oversleeping. Circling all possible printing stations in the whole Ateneo and finding none open at 7:30am. S***. What's going on with the world? What's going on with my world? I am the only person feeling that there is something wrong. I do not want to lie down my bed while reading anymore because I am likely to sleep. When I turn on the laptop, my tendency is to play freaking Solitaire. Yes, Solitaire. The most boring game in the world. Roughly 12% of all play possibilities is the winning percentage.

How I wish I could wake up at 5 in the morning. Study until 7:00. Prepare until 7:30. Go to class. Then probably eat or something. Then attend my 10:30 class. Eat lunch with blockmates. Attend my 3-4 ballroom. Study until 7 then watch my films. During MWFs, I want to wake up at 7:00. Study until 10:00. Prepare until 10:30. Go to class. Eat lunch at 11:30. Catch up on my news on 12:00 until 1:00. Go to class at 1:30. Return from class 3:30. Study until 7:00. Then watch films.

Why can't I be that habitual? Instead of sleeping late doing nothing, why can't I be more productive?

Where's the productivity button when you need it?

My Interpretation and Review: Eraserhead (1977) by David Lynch

The only Lynch film I have watched before Eraserhead is Mulholland Drive (2001). Both tackle life issues and emphasize on their emotion and severity. The surreal genre twists reality to emphasize on it more. One could not just say that the "shockingness" or distance from reality is but a dream. What is surreal is a more descriptive extension of reality. This has been my observation, at least, on surrealism.

David Lynch is mighty impressive. His works have actually morphed the film industry. He influenced the styles of Tarantino (Inglourious Basterds), and Aronofsky (Black Swan) among several brilliant directors. While finishing his degree in the American Film Institute, he concocted Eraserhead, a film about a man's paranoia on parenthood.

Interpretation
 
I am reminded of my literature classes. Some movies are like prose. Some are like poetry. Films are versatile. They can express notions in the freest ways possible. Eraserhead is a poetic sort of film. The film relies on imagery in mood. There are so many ways to interpret it and none of them would be wrong. But just like poetry, there is the surface-level analysis which is the most possible objective interpretation of the film.

Despite many accounts in the internet saying that the film has no linear plot, I believe that it does. The film begins with the image of Henry's head and a spherical object that has so many similarities to an egg cell (from my old biology books). Henry then opens his mouth and a sperm cell-looking entity emerges inside of him. A person who looks like he suffers from a skin disease (or this could be signs that that person is not human) pulls levers which make the sperm entity "drown" into the water of the cracked egg cell-looking thing. This part of the plot seems to symbolize sexual intercourse and the fertilization of the egg cell.

The succeeding event is Henry visiting his partner's house. He asks her why he has not heard from her. He meets her parents. There, he is informed that Mary (his partner) was pregnant and the baby was in the hospital. The mother did not explicitly say that Mary gave birth, though. This is obvious in meaning. Mary was pregnant and thus avoided Henry. Henry was called for so that his support on the matter would be contracted.

The baby seemed like a manifestation of Henry's fears. When it was sick, it looked absolutely revolting. It looked like the person with the skin disease in the first minutes of the movie. Its cries traumatized Mary and gave her the volition to pause her stay in Henry's tiny apartment. Also consider that this baby was not wanted in the first place. What I mean by wanted is that its conception was not expected at all; no preparation. All of these negative notes on Henry's baby connote Henry's non-desire to be a parent.

The latter areas of the plot seemed to be about Henry hitting rock-bottom. After touching the hands of this odd-cheeked girl, he is by the corner and his head falls off. His baby replaces his head. A kid picks up his head and sells it to this pencil-making company. A person then gets a portion of his head and turns it into a pencil. I notice parallelism here with the ill-skinned person in the film. Human acts are depicted as mechanical things. Levers are pulled to copulate and show the clockwork of the person. A pencil without an eraser was created out of Henry's mind matter. The mind matter is supposed to be the clockwork of the person.

I think that the Eraserhead was entitled  as which because of several reasons. First, we should notice Henry's head. His hair is similar-looking to an eraserhead. Not only that. There is a reason for his head to be the focus. What happens in your head? You think. You feel (hypothalamus). The head is that vital thing of yours. Consider also that Henry is paranoid throughout the film. Eraserhead is connectible to Henry's own clockwork. (This reminds of Kubrick's A Clockwork Orange.) Everything in the movie is a manifestation of his own fears and ideologies. Also if we give regards to his eraser head, we could parallel his being and the plot of the story. A pencil could create and erase. His body creates and destroys. The last scenes of the movie show Henry killing his own child.

My Biased Review

 I understand why David Lynch has reached milestones in the film industry. I do not mean the financial side but the more relevant areas of films. New elements are incorporated into this indie film. Clay animation is utilized and Lynch has a master hand in creating the fake head and using the embalmed calf head in animating the baby of the story. If you are in for the film that would wake you up, I do not suggest this film. If you are for the more intellectual orgasm sort of thing, this is close-to-perfect. Visually speaking, the filming is not too clear. This is reasonable since it is independently made. However, I do think that the darkness of the film plays with its mood. However questionable the quality of the film is, its awesome depiction of the woes of unwanted pregnancy and parenthood is the most striking thing. This reminds me of Usher's Confessions Part 2. I dislike the pacing of the plot, though.


That concludes my interpretation-slash-biased review of the great Lynch's Eraserhead. This is the perfect movie for when you feel that you are stupid and need an intellectual boost. Haha.
 

Revitalized for the weekend

Sleepy Day

How annoying the length of naps this week. The trend is sleeping at the wee hours of the morning and waking 3-5 hours right after. I believe that this lack of sleep is compensated with my heavy naps. I even arrived late for my Filipino class. Such a bust. I am lying down on my bed as I type this insignificant blog entry. My eyes are conspiring against me. They close in my ES class and Filipino class. I did not even care about eating breakfast anymore. Blame my eyes.

I had a bad week I guess.

Monday was a lightning of frustration. Plans were canceled. Requirements procrastinated. That gloomy feeling in the afternoon.

Tuesday was even worse. Woke up to a funk. Filipino powerpoint presentation scrutinized. Oversleeping which lead to my skipping of class. I seriously overslept through class.

Wednesday was just sad. Argh my Literature Midterms. How I wish I knew what our professor's standards were. Kailangan makabawi

Thursday. Oh, Thursday. Please be a better day.

Please be a better day

Random Thoughts On My Argumentative Research Paper

I see substantial progress in my Argumentative Research Paper. I have gathered necessary sources. My trips to the Old and New Rizal Libraries did help in my progress. I wish my topic were more historical so that I would be able to utilize the microfilms in the Old Rizal Library. Peering through microfilm would be fun. I have photocopies. Ebooks. You name it. I can feel progress.

My goal for tonight would be half the paper. I have only finished the introduction. Introducing a paper is quite challenging.

I do not plan to lengthen this post.

Kaya nga random thoughts. :)

Cynical: The Way to Skinniness

I do not know why I had to add a sad pun in my title. Probably, I recall something a friend of mine once punned. I said the word "cynical" and the weight-loss-related Xenical came into his mind. Two things make me feel nostalgic about that memory: first, was that dear effeminate friend of mine (apologies, friend! but you do admit ;) ) and second, was how long ago those ideas were said. Then, comes the thought of time. I think of how much more differently I think now than I did roughly 2 years ago. Why I am pondering on cynicism? The reasons escape me. "Cynical" is the perfect word to describe me at this point and g**damn is it bothersome.

Cynic. I quote from the dictionary entries in Merriam-Webster.com


Cynic: an adherent of an ancient Greek school of philosophers who held the view that virtue is the only good and that its essence lies in self-control and independence


cynic: a faultfinding captious critic; especially : one who believes that human conduct is motivated wholly by self-interest 

I would define myself under the second cynic. Why on earth can't I believe in anything? Do unto others what you want others to do unto you. Do good things so that you would enter heaven. Plain self-interest, don't you think? I am cynical about everything: happiness, love, religion-you name it. This cynicism does not sprout from some whim of mine to seem different. (Why do I say this? Because the fancy people in Facebook are pretentious and annoying. I am not making much sense. I maybe illogical but that is what I feel. If those precocious Facebook people do not want any critics, no matter how subtle, they should stop posting irrelevant bits and pieces of information.) It comes from plain logic. I do not find meaning in anything. That sort of thinking makes me a nihilist. What does that make me now? A cynic-nihilist. It sounds highfalutin but it is accurate. Isn't not believing in anything and not living with meaning supposed to yield absolute misery?

Absolute misery.

Here I am again with an emotion. Misery. Emotions do not matter to me. They are chemical reactions that we, human beings, add some meaning into. Is there anything absolutely divine about happiness? I have no idea. How I wish that there were and I would know! I want happiness but I do not believe in it. If I have to feel misery to feel anything at all or believe in anything at all, let it be.

I want misery to numb my veins. I want it to make me sink into darkness. I want it to make me alive because I am dead. I feel dead, anyway. Let it prove to me how wrong I am. Let it prove to me that there is meaning in life. That there is something to believe it. I want to know that humans have not created a mass-brainwash-convention (emotions and such). I want it all and I wonder if I ever will.

In the meantime, let this cynicism make me focus on the more objective things. Allow me to immerse myself in standards that society has created for every individual that live in it.  I should be courteous and sympathetic. I should be kind. If we talk of the superficial, I should be smart, pretty, rich and skinny. There you go, skinny. Allow this misery to make me skinny.

(I feel better now :D )