Intimidation and Desecration

The image of the white page element-less from the one-inch margined top to the equally margined bottom conjoined with the ticking line incessantly waiting for an input is the most hypnotic visualization of a painfully clueless beginning or an agonizing adrenaline rush triggered by the heat of procrastination. My mind is fixed on the possibilities of exploring the glorious medieval Japanese lands flooded with political blood lust whose three-hours-a-week discussion is in total contrast with the topic. Our previous professor left with excitement but does not fail to either caress the stressed muscles of our forehead with marks of glory or slap our cheeks with utter shame. I was left to rot and decay in deep regret of the latter and the pangs of the initial feeling-the most powerful reaction to that dreaded mark-still linger in my chest. The blank page in all metaphysics contain the profundity of an organized well-substantiated reflection on the Simile of the Cave but in the nakedness of reality, it looks like a sorry promise of burnt time. The Tokugawa Polity should be devoured by now but the feeling of intimidation ticks at my very center and ripples to my veins.

From the beginning of my freshman year to the moment I have been typing this rant on life, I have been a loser bowing her head as she walks the paths of the "successful"--in the metaphorical sense. No longer will I submit to this outrageous vacuum I have created. Destruction should commence. I should defile the written accounts of Aristotle's students with approving highlights and black comments and insights. I should desecrate the smoothness of all my assigned readings with wrinkles and folds evidencing merciless consumption. I will devour it with the gluttony of a grizzly bear removed from all sources of nourishment. And as for you, intimidating blankness, I shall vandalize your body with the most well-thought of ideas I could generate with my whole being. And I murder my old self along with the mutilation of the strands of my hair. Good bye, asshole.